.Saturday, October 25, 2008'Saturday, October 25, 2008
a mask, is used to cover one's face from other people, and i guess the purpose is to prevent other people from seeing the expression as well as the appearance of that person wearing the mask. a mask can also beautify one's appearance. many women went to the beauty parlon to put on a mask for themselves and the next moment when u see them, they are so different that u couldn't recognise them.
i also put a mask on my face, wherever i go. the purpose for doing so, was mentioned earlier, to prevent other people from seeing my expression. even when going to school, i often wear a mask to protect myself. i may appear very happy and hyper to many people, but the truth is that i was super emo most of the times. i noe it seems unbelievable to many people, but this is the truth. even for myself, after wearing the mask for such a long time, it has become part of me and i could not even differentiate the true me and the masked me. it was such a perfect mask that i have created for myself.
however, nothing is perfect in this world and my mask was not perfect as well. this mask was broken some time back. it was after promos. i just breakdown in front of some people and they were quite shocked. i knew they will act like that, so i was not surprised. they were worried about the reasons why i cried and this makes me realise one thing: there are actually people who cares for me and they are worried when i'm sad, other than my parents. i realise that there was no need to wear a mask to cover my emotions and shut everyone from entering my inner space.
however, i could not remove the mask. it has become part of me. i shut the door between the outside world and my inner space. i rejected those care and concern that all the people gave me when i'm sad. i did not do it on purpose, it was because it seems a long time ever since someone enters that inner space and i have already adapted to the life without any care and concern. so, if i ever scold u when u are trying to console me when i'm feeling down, i'm sorry for that. is not that i don't want that. i desire that for a long time ago, so long that i have already forgotten how am i going to react when someone cares for me. so long, so long...
